Pasayten's Methow Valley Bulletin Board

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https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-demonstrate ... ss-carpet/

“Doctors won’t tell you this, but you don’t need medication for a tapeworm—all you need is the natural power of friction,” Kennedy said as he dropped to the floor, lifted his legs high, and dragged his arse along the White House carpet during a press conference. “Big pharma will urge you to paralyze the tapeworm with dangerous, addictive drugs we don’t know anything about, but they just want to keep you infected with tapeworms so you become dependent on them. Just raise your legs to make sure your anus comes in direct contact with the carpet, then use your arms to propel yourself forward. It’s the natural way people used to get rid of tapeworms back in the ’60s and ’70s before the health-industrial complex corrupted everything. I’ve been doing it every week for years to take care of my constant anal swelling.”

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About sums it all up...

The USS Abraham Lincoln Carrier Battle Group has arrived in the Middle East.
Trump says if Iran doesn't make a deal, he'll order the carrier to use its nuclear reactors to power a giant laser that will project the Melania movie over Tehran and force the nation's immediate surrender.

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We are - apparently - being ruled by a government elected by a plurality of morons……
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Satire, like only Andy Borowitz can write
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/greenl ... irect=true